Food recipes
Roadkill Tacos
Roadkill Tacos
Ingredients:
Roadkill (1/4 - 1/2 lb per person)
lettuce (asparagus will do)
tomatos (preferably with worms intact)
green cheese
Cool Whip, chocolate sprinkles, garlic, etc
Directions
Throw roadkill in blender (Waring, Ginsu or Kaldis will do). This is similar to the fragged duck dish so
many ex-Vietnam POWs are fond of. Blender should be on ``liquefy'', ``gasify'' or something similar.
When roadkill reaches the consistency and color of fresh vomit, pour it into a large metal container full
of boiling oil (Nearly any oil will do, altho as a political statement I refuse to use Alaskan beach-
washed Exxon). As roadkill foams to a crispy brown, skim off top until entire roadkill is cooked.
Throw remaining ingredients into blender. Set on ``search and destroy''. Drain any leftover contents
into garbage pail. Pour fried roadkill bits into freshly-bought taco shells and serve hot.
The customary authentic Mexican version uses iguana. The southern US style uses possum (the
stringier the better). For that Tejas barbecue flavor try armadillo. Catfish works well for Catholics on
Fridays, and Jews generally will eat the beef or seal.
Use a Mexican for that spicy flavor, or an Indian if you like curry [1]. Californians lend that tangy
coconut oil taste. Lawyers and politicians taste like rattlesnake that dried in the buffalo chips too long,
but yield more than purely culinary rewards. For similar reasons, liberals are oft used in the south,
and conservatives in Boston and California. Texans and Georgians will eat nearly anything, especially
if it originated in another country.
Raccoon Kabobs
(Also known as "Ringtail Surprise")
Two pounds, reasonably fresh raccoon, cut into one-inch cubes; one-half cup homemade French
dressing; two green peppers, cut into squares; one large onion, cut into one-inch pieces; one-third
pound mushroom caps.
Place raccoon cubes in a ceramic bowl and pour dressing over cubes. Let marinate two or more
hours. Remove cubes, reserving marinade. Alternate raccoon cubes with pepper squares, onion
pieces and mushroom caps on skewers. Brush all with reserved marinade and broil over hot coals
until done to desired degree. Turn frequently and baste with marinade as needed.
Serves six.
Moose-and-Squirrel Meat Balls
(Especially useful recipe if main ingredients have been dead for 24 or more hours before harvested)
Three pounds, ground moose and squirrel, any proportion; six slices soft white bread; one-half cup
water; one-third cup butter; one-and-one-third cups chopped onion; salt and freshly ground black
pepper; two tablespoons chopped parsley; two tablespoons flour; one-and-one-half cups milk.
Soak bread in water five minutes. Squeeze excess water out. Melt four tablespoons butter in skillet.
Sauté onion in butter until tender. Combine moose and squirrel meat, squeezed bread, four
teaspoons salt, one-half teaspoon pepper and parsley. Form mixture into one-inch balls. Chill twenty
minutes. Heat remaining butter in skillet. Brown moose-and-squirrel balls on all sides. Cover skillet
and cook slowly 15 minutes. Remove balls to warm platter. Sprinkle flour over skillet droppings. Stir
and cook one minute. Stir in milk and bring to boil. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Return
moose-and-squirrel balls to skillet. Simmer four minutes.
Serves eight
Pennsylvania Possum Pot Pie
(Often served to unsuspecting bed-and-breakfast tourists in Amish country)
Five-pound possum, cut into serving pieces; water; salt; 12 peppercorns; two ribs celery, chopped;
two carrots, quartered; one onion; two cups flour; four egg yolks; six tablespoons hot water
Place possum in kettle. Add water to cover, salt to taste, peppercorns, celery, carrots and onion.
Simmer until possum is thoroughly tender, about two hours. Strain broth and pour into clean kettle.
Simmer while preparing remaining ingredients. Remove possum from bones. Discard bones and skin.
Cut possum into bite-size pieces. Sift flour and one-half teaspoon salt together onto board. Make well
in center and put egg yolks into it. Gradually work yolks into flour until stiff dough is formed, adding
hot water as needed. Knead until smooth, about five minutes. Cut dough in half. Roll each half until
paper thin. Cut dough into noodles about one inch wide. Add possum to simmering broth. Gradually
add noodles. Continue boiling until noodles are done, about five minutes.
Serves eight to twelve.
Skunk Skillet Stew
(A sensory entree, not recommended for the weak-stomached)
Two adult skunks, skinned, deboned and shredded; save scent sacs and set aside; one-fourth cup
oil; one-fourth cup butter; two cups finely chopped celery; one-fourth cup finely chopped parsley; two
cloves garlic, finely minced; one bay leaf; two carrots, chopped; two tablespoons flour; one cup beef
broth; one cup dry red wine; three tablespoons cognac; one pound ripe, red tomatoes, peeled,
seeded and chopped; salt and freshly ground pepper to taste; juice of half-lemon; one-fourth
teaspoon nutmeg; one cup Madeira wine.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In large skillet, brown skunk well in oil and butter; add carrots and stir
until lightly browned. Sprinkle with flour. Add broth as needed when mixture starts to brown. Stir to
dissolve brown particles. Add remaining broth, red wine, cognac, tomatoes, salt and pepper. Place in
oven, cover and bake three hours. Strain gravy, pressing as much of cooked vegetable mixture as
possible through sieve. Bring strained mixture to boil. Add lemon juice, nutmeg, Madeira. Carefully
puncture scent sacs and add fluids to mixture. Simmer five minutes. Pour sauce over skunk.
Serves eight.
Note: If any of these species are not commonly found on roadsides in your geographic area, you may
easily substitute such other carrion delicacies as armadillo, alligator or mongoose meats. Be creative.
Bon appétit!
We are greatly saddened by how many of our furry little friends we see flattened along
our roadways on a typical daily drive to work. In a well-intentioned effort to turn those
frowns around, we have proposed a tasteful end for those unfortunate creatures who
wanted nothing more in life than to learn what might lie on the other side of the road.
We think that they would have wanted it that way. So we have dedicated this book to
those furry friends.
(cid:23)(cid:11)(cid:8)(cid:3)(cid:8)(cid:17)(cid:7)(cid:3)
Ingredients:
Roadkill (1/4 - 1/2 lb per person)
lettuce (asparagus will do)
tomatos (preferably with worms intact)
green cheese
Cool Whip, chocolate sprinkles, garlic, etc
Directions
Throw roadkill in blender (Waring, Ginsu or Kaldis will do). This is similar to the fragged duck dish so
many ex-Vietnam POWs are fond of. Blender should be on ``liquefy'', ``gasify'' or something similar.
When roadkill reaches the consistency and color of fresh vomit, pour it into a large metal container full
of boiling oil (Nearly any oil will do, altho as a political statement I refuse to use Alaskan beach-
washed Exxon). As roadkill foams to a crispy brown, skim off top until entire roadkill is cooked.
Throw remaining ingredients into blender. Set on ``search and destroy''. Drain any leftover contents
into garbage pail. Pour fried roadkill bits into freshly-bought taco shells and serve hot.
The customary authentic Mexican version uses iguana. The southern US style uses possum (the
stringier the better). For that Tejas barbecue flavor try armadillo. Catfish works well for Catholics on
Fridays, and Jews generally will eat the beef or seal.
Use a Mexican for that spicy flavor, or an Indian if you like curry [1]. Californians lend that tangy
coconut oil taste. Lawyers and politicians taste like rattlesnake that dried in the buffalo chips too long,
but yield more than purely culinary rewards. For similar reasons, liberals are oft used in the south,
and conservatives in Boston and California. Texans and Georgians will eat nearly anything, especially
if it originated in another country.
Raccoon Kabobs
(Also known as "Ringtail Surprise")
Two pounds, reasonably fresh raccoon, cut into one-inch cubes; one-half cup homemade French
dressing; two green peppers, cut into squares; one large onion, cut into one-inch pieces; one-third
pound mushroom caps.
Place raccoon cubes in a ceramic bowl and pour dressing over cubes. Let marinate two or more
hours. Remove cubes, reserving marinade. Alternate raccoon cubes with pepper squares, onion
pieces and mushroom caps on skewers. Brush all with reserved marinade and broil over hot coals
until done to desired degree. Turn frequently and baste with marinade as needed.
Serves six.
Moose-and-Squirrel Meat Balls
(Especially useful recipe if main ingredients have been dead for 24 or more hours before harvested)
Three pounds, ground moose and squirrel, any proportion; six slices soft white bread; one-half cup
water; one-third cup butter; one-and-one-third cups chopped onion; salt and freshly ground black
pepper; two tablespoons chopped parsley; two tablespoons flour; one-and-one-half cups milk.
Soak bread in water five minutes. Squeeze excess water out. Melt four tablespoons butter in skillet.
Sauté onion in butter until tender. Combine moose and squirrel meat, squeezed bread, four
teaspoons salt, one-half teaspoon pepper and parsley. Form mixture into one-inch balls. Chill twenty
minutes. Heat remaining butter in skillet. Brown moose-and-squirrel balls on all sides. Cover skillet
and cook slowly 15 minutes. Remove balls to warm platter. Sprinkle flour over skillet droppings. Stir
and cook one minute. Stir in milk and bring to boil. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Return
moose-and-squirrel balls to skillet. Simmer four minutes.
Serves eight
Pennsylvania Possum Pot Pie
(Often served to unsuspecting bed-and-breakfast tourists in Amish country)
Five-pound possum, cut into serving pieces; water; salt; 12 peppercorns; two ribs celery, chopped;
two carrots, quartered; one onion; two cups flour; four egg yolks; six tablespoons hot water
Place possum in kettle. Add water to cover, salt to taste, peppercorns, celery, carrots and onion.
Simmer until possum is thoroughly tender, about two hours. Strain broth and pour into clean kettle.
Simmer while preparing remaining ingredients. Remove possum from bones. Discard bones and skin.
Cut possum into bite-size pieces. Sift flour and one-half teaspoon salt together onto board. Make well
in center and put egg yolks into it. Gradually work yolks into flour until stiff dough is formed, adding
hot water as needed. Knead until smooth, about five minutes. Cut dough in half. Roll each half until
paper thin. Cut dough into noodles about one inch wide. Add possum to simmering broth. Gradually
add noodles. Continue boiling until noodles are done, about five minutes.
Serves eight to twelve.
Skunk Skillet Stew
(A sensory entree, not recommended for the weak-stomached)
Two adult skunks, skinned, deboned and shredded; save scent sacs and set aside; one-fourth cup
oil; one-fourth cup butter; two cups finely chopped celery; one-fourth cup finely chopped parsley; two
cloves garlic, finely minced; one bay leaf; two carrots, chopped; two tablespoons flour; one cup beef
broth; one cup dry red wine; three tablespoons cognac; one pound ripe, red tomatoes, peeled,
seeded and chopped; salt and freshly ground pepper to taste; juice of half-lemon; one-fourth
teaspoon nutmeg; one cup Madeira wine.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In large skillet, brown skunk well in oil and butter; add carrots and stir
until lightly browned. Sprinkle with flour. Add broth as needed when mixture starts to brown. Stir to
dissolve brown particles. Add remaining broth, red wine, cognac, tomatoes, salt and pepper. Place in
oven, cover and bake three hours. Strain gravy, pressing as much of cooked vegetable mixture as
possible through sieve. Bring strained mixture to boil. Add lemon juice, nutmeg, Madeira. Carefully
puncture scent sacs and add fluids to mixture. Simmer five minutes. Pour sauce over skunk.
Serves eight.
Note: If any of these species are not commonly found on roadsides in your geographic area, you may
easily substitute such other carrion delicacies as armadillo, alligator or mongoose meats. Be creative.
Bon appétit!
We are greatly saddened by how many of our furry little friends we see flattened along
our roadways on a typical daily drive to work. In a well-intentioned effort to turn those
frowns around, we have proposed a tasteful end for those unfortunate creatures who
wanted nothing more in life than to learn what might lie on the other side of the road.
We think that they would have wanted it that way. So we have dedicated this book to
those furry friends.
(cid:23)(cid:11)(cid:8)(cid:3)(cid:8)(cid:17)(cid:7)(cid:3)
Printed from https://recipe.bluelayer.org/recipe/68097/roadkill-tacos